Picture: The Trail of Gargoyles, somewhere in the Stanislaus Forest by my dad (this picture shows one of the most genuinely happy smiles)
*TW: this post talks about anxiety and eating disorders. While I’m not going into a lot of detail, I do talk about it. Know that you are going to be okay and I am here to talk if you need anything*
If you’ve been here since the beginning of Get Aloha Spirit (wow thank you), you have been here to witness a lot of growth and a lot of change. One of my goals with creating this site was to create a space where people feel safe enough to explore themselves, learn to love themselves, and be on a path to a better you.
In the past few days, I’ve done a lot of thinking about how far I have come in terms of my own happiness and confidence. I want to tell you my story, and I want to remind you and let you know that with a bit of time and a lot of love, you too can blossom into an even more incredible human than who you are now.
Let’s start with the creation of this website. I had been working on it for months creating goals, content, and making something that I would later refer to as “my baby.” What you didn’t know or see was the fact that creating the website was my catharsis, a way for me to share the way that had saved me from myself. I had gotten out of an unbelievably toxic relationship that made me feel as though I was not worth anything or did not deserve the love I thought I deserved. In that healing process, I learned about the importance of a positive mindset and reconnecting with my mind, body, and soul. I learned about mindfulness, explored yoga, learned about my “hippie things” and led myself on a path of serious self-growth and discovery. I’ve never been someone who disliked myself or possessed a lot of insecurity up until my very first relationship.
Coming out of that relationship, I felt awful about having anxiety, thinking that the things I thought and felt were not valid. It took seeing a therapist and conquering all of my demons… again… to feel comfortable with the things that went through my head. It took me months to be able to eat normally again, it took me months to not have an anxiety attack every single day, and it took me months to finally feel as though I had control once again. I mentioned before that on top of reverting back to my old ways, I also didn’t feel as if I would ever be enough in any way. I was broken.
So what caused my change in mindset to help me heal? I saw a post about thanking your body for how much it does for you. This caused me to snap out of the spell I was put under, and a lesson I want you to take on your journey. I realized that no matter what I had been through or what had changed, my body was still here and still keeping me alive. Since I was 8, I’ve had anxiety, therefore I dealt with on and off weight fluctuations from eating and then not eating and then put myself in the same situation again sophomore year. Through that, my body still kept me going. My feet stayed grounded, my heart kept beating, my blood kept pumping, and I was still here. Whatever you have been through mentally, your body has fought physically (in my case). Before you keep reading, look at yourself in the mirror and tell your body “Thank you for fighting with me.” At the end of the day, you will always be by your side.
From that realization, I always kept that in mind if I ever started to beat myself up again. At the same time, I started exploring mindfulness, finding my happiness, and working on myself. I let myself be free. That freedom led to becoming more comfortable with myself. It then led to the Law of Attraction where I started putting the same energy I felt back to the universe. I followed the Aloha Spirit (The coordination of mind and heart within each person brings each person to the self. Each person must emote good feelings (good vibes) to others), hence where the name of this site came from. From that point on, I have only let things, people, and energies into my life that made me feel good and encouraged me to keep on improving myself.
Once I implemented those things in my life and actively focused on them, I wanted to create an outlet where people could be inspired in the way I had. The goal was to impact at least one person and make them feel like everything will be okay.
When I started to feel okay with myself, that led to loving myself. I became okay with who I was, who I am, and who I will be. I put myself on the path of constantly growing through all of the good and all of the bad.
Here I am, despite the stress, occasional hurt, and not so good stuff I deal with on a regular basis, I’m okay with myself. I’m okay enough to let others in my heart. Right now, if I think about it, I am the happiest and most content with myself than I have been in quite some time. We are always on this journey, you might as well do everything you can to make it as enjoyable as possible.
I hope you are inspired to start loving yourself more. I intend on making a post all about how to fully go about this, but until then you are worth it, you are strong, and don’t forget to stay vibin!
Where you can reach me:
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/profile/kylanicole2013
Pura Vida: KYLAALEXANDRE20 for 20% off
gonebeachin.com: kylanicole10 for 10% off
*some links are affiliate, thanks for helping me grow :)*