I am going to lay this down straight and simple… break-ups suck. I know this from first-hand experience. Your world feels like it is crashing down a million miles a minute. You feel abandoned, shut out and confused. Yes, it is the worst feeling in the world, so I am here to share my knowledge about ways to cope with a concept that makes no sense. I understand that I am no relationship doctor, but I do carry some experience and knowledge, so I would like to share it.
- You are allowed to cry and feel absolutely miserable. I know, I know some of us absolutely hate crying (like myself), but you are allowed to feel every emotion ever created. At first, I felt bad for crying all of the time, but then I realized that my heart was practically ripped out of my chest and I had every right to be down in the dumps. Hopefully, you have friends who will stick right by your side and try to be there for whatever you need.
- Forgive, but do not forget. Unless whoever broke up with did the worst possible thing to you, you have to forgive. You do not have to forgive the person, but you have to forgive the situation. Forgiving the situation will allow you to move on. I understand you probably feel every ounce of rage and anger, even without anger, but at some point, you have to forgive the situation. It did not work out, yes it sucks, but it was not meant to be. That is just the sad reality. I am not saying to forgive the minute you are broken up with, but over time you need to understand that this relationship was not meant to work out and that is okay.
- Do not dwell for a long period of time. I understand that I just said you are allowed to feel bad, but after a while, it will not do anything other than make you feel worse. The longer you dwell, the longer you will let this person be a part of your life, making it harder to move on, and you do not want that. Plus if you cry for a long period of time your friends might get annoyed with the fact that you have been a little too needy asking for all of the emotional support a few months later.
- Do not and I mean DO NOT get a rebound. The motivation of a rebound is to make your ex jealous or to prove that you have moved on. You do not owe proof to anyone. Typically a rebound happens within a few weeks to a month after a relationship has ended. A rebound is an unhealthy step in an attempt to get over your ex because you are hurting the person you are rebounding with. Chances are you are still hurting from the break-up, therefore you are probably going to be more distant and unable to give the relationship your all. You probably will not see any future with this person. The relationship will not go anywhere. Do not feel pressure to date, someone, right away. You have to build yourself back up and love every ounce of who you are before you decide to commit to someone.
- Lastly, focus on yourself. Take time to build yourself back up. Break-ups are one of the biggest learning and growing moment you can have, no matter the age. Understand how this affected you, and take time to gain your own independence. This is the longest part of the process because naturally, as humans, we are constantly growing all the time. This growing process comes and goes. One day you will feel on top of the world, the next it all collapses. As time goes on those collapses come and go less and less frequently and then you will get to the point of feeling free like you are soaring above the world.
I hope my experience has helped you in some way, shape, or form. Stay strong and stay vibing!